Akda ni W.C.J
"Pat, balita ko may Job fair sa bayan ah? don't you wanna give it a shot?" tanong ng aking ina habang kasalukuyan kong hinihigop ang mainit na sabaw ng tinola sa katirikan ng araw. OO nga naman, it's been almost three months since I graduated, yet I'm still jobless. What a pain in the ass."O sige Ma, try ko mamaya" sagot ko habang pawisan at ninamnam ang paborito kong ulam.
bago ako pumunta ng shower room,
i grabbed my phone and sent my present lover a message,"Hi bhe, pupunta pala ako ng bayan mamaya, may job fair daw dun sabi ni mama, try ko lang ha" and few seconds after, I heard my phone rang, "New Message: From Bhebhe ko""k" wow, kung makareply naman tong ungas na 'to parang tig pipiso bawat letra. I replied " L, M, N, O, P, Q,R, S, T,"
then he said back
"hehe, goodluck bhe, yaka mo yan, love you.""thanks bhe,I love you too"then I went to the john and took a bath. while I was taking a bath, I was thinking what will happen to me if I get hired? am I that strong enough to stand the so called long distance relationship? or shall i call it over na? damn! my mind was clouded with so many "what if's" and questions. Questions that i never thought before. And so, I arrived at the venue and took the initial exam,
at first I was kinda hesitant 'coz the job that they're offering is for a BPO company, Damn!
I never trance of becoming a call center agent. I am a graduate of Engineering from one of the known Universities in the North. And I was hoping to get a job in line of my expertise.
"Mr. Patrick Ong, please get ready for your Listening Skill Test." ika ng isa sa mga recruitment personnel ng kompanya na nakabasag sa aking pagmumuni muni..I smiled at him and said "Okay, thanks".I took the the said test for 15 minutes, and luckily I passed..I moved to the final interview where i have to wait for a call from one of the Managers.so i sat outside the room and tarried for my phone to ring. and while i'm about to be consumed by boredom, one of the applicants asked if if i'm still okay, if how's the application going on. I said " Ok naman po, eto nag aantay nalang ng tawag from manager daw for my final interview" then she said "ah okay, katatapos ko lang din, i'm just waiting for the schedule of my training","Wow, congrats" I said and shaked her hand while saying " by the way, i'm Pat""Aisa" she said, while i was about to ask her if how was her final interview, my phone rang."Shit! this is it.""good luck" she saidand I smiled at her and walked down to the hallway so I can have the privacy to talk to the manager. "hello?""Hi, this is Rose from NCO, May I please speak to Mr. Patrick Ong?""Oh hi there, this is Patrick, how are you ma'am?""I'm good, and yourself?"blaaahhh blaaahh blaaah.... the call went good. it lasted for about 20 minutes I guess. "Congratulations Mr. Ong , welcome to our family. you passed the interview.""Wow, thank you so much, what's your name again? ""it's jerome""Thanks again Jerome, Thank you""You're Welcome Mr. Ong""Call me Pat" i said, then he smiled.
even from the start of the process, napansin ko nang palagi siyang tumitingin like he knows me from somewhere. Weird, but I kinda like his smile.hehe Then I went home,"So how was it?" usisa ng aking ina while watching her favorite teledrama. "start na ng training ko Monday ng gabi" sagot ko sabay abot sa kanya yung contract.and out of nowhere, my mom stood up from the chair and hugged me; "Congrats anak,galingan mo dun""opo ma" then i kissed her cheek.I was happy then kasi magkakawork na'ko, pero on the other side of my head, naisip ko bigla bhebhe ko, shit! magkakahiwalay kami. His Name is Daniel Santos, he's a third year VMU Nursing student. We've been together for almost 4 months now. I met him sa isang internet shop sa bayan. I was chatting with my friends before and he was like doing his thesis, he was sitting right next to me, ayun chat chat with my friends, tas nagulat ako nang bigla nalang napatayo at sumigaw ng "wallet ko"ay malas ang ungas, nawala ang wallet. sabi ko sa isip ko. he looks worried and sad,for he has no money to pay the rent.since ilang oras palang naman siya naka-log, i offered my help, sabi ko,"uy ako nalang bahala""nakakahiya naman, bayaran ko nalang ah? di ko kasi alam san yung wallet ko, nawawala ata." sagot nya"baka naman na-misplaced mo lang, or baka naiwan mo sa bahay nyo""sana, pero thank you talaga ha? bayaran ko nalang pag nagkita ulit tayo, Daniel by the way""sus, hayaan mo na yun, i'm Pat" then he smiled, turned around and went out of the shop. Wwow, his rosy lips, his perfect white teeth. putang ina! ang gwapo ng mokong yun ah.at napamura pa ulit ako nang biglang nag hang ang PC, sabi ko kay ate"lipat nalang po ako dito sa kabila"then i transfered, I checked my emails, and when I was about to download an attachment and save it on my documents, I saw a file saved na may RESUME KO _DAN na title,napangiti ako at dali dali kong binuksan,at tae na! bumulagta sakin ang 2x2 na picture ni daniel kasama mga contact numbers at address nya.BINGGO! dali dali kong kinuha ang cellphone ko at sinave ang number nya.kung sweswertehen ka nga naman oh.and that's how our story started.we became friends at first.he admitted that he's into guys too. We went out, watched movies, we dated until we both fell in love with each other. I wanted to see Dan the day before my training, so I called him. But refused to meet me 'coz he said his older sister is in their house and cant go out.yeah right, nice! I'm leaving and yet my lover can't even find a way to see me and part his goodbye. Damn it! And so the day came, I kissed my family Goodbye. Hugged them tight.Napaiyak ako, first time ko kasi mapawalay sa family ko. My brother tapped my shoulder and said "Ingat ka dun ha?"I smiled and walked away while tears falling down from my eyes.Putang ina! Ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko, I really don't wanna go, but I have to. It's time to think of myself, my future, my life. right before sumakay ako ng bus,someone grabbed my hand and whispered "Can we talk first?"I turned my head and saw Dan on his teary eyes,I smiled and hugged him."Thank God you came, I was about to pass out. Ang sakit Dan. ayoko sana umalis pero kailangan""I know, I know. At first nahirapan ako tanggapin din yung nangyayari at mangyayari, but I guess we don't have choice than to let it happen, and besides, confident naman akong di mo ako pagpapalit, diba? nag iisa lang 'to, gwapo na, malaki pa." sabay tawa at kindat." kapal! Oo malaki nga, but you haven't had used it well""aba! aba! ikaw kasi maarti eh. masakit masakit! ""haha loko, their's a perfect time for that""Oo na" then he stared at me"I'm gonna miss you Dan""same here bhe, ako lang ha?""Pangako""I love you""I love you too, bhe" then I parted my goodbye. sumakay na'ko ng bus and cried,for i know deep inside of me,everything won't be the same anymore.
Everything's fine at first. Our communication is still good. We call and text each other a lot.but until one day, bigla nalang ako nakaramdam ng iba,he became lame, boring and he gets mad easily.I didn't call him for like a week maybe, and so as he.hinayaan ko lang, baka busy lang siya sa studies nya.So nagpaka busy din ako sa work, One night, tamang off ko. I got bored. so I decided to go to a computer shop and surfed the net. nakita ko 'tong specific dating site na 'to for bi's and gays. I created my account and started chatting with some.and there's this one who sent me a message asking if i'm single and if we can be friends.ewan ko kung ano pumasok sa isip ko at nasabing"yep, I'm single."we talked for an hour maybe at nalaman kong sa call center industry din siya. he gave me his number at binigay ko rin yung akin.
and from that night, naging constant na pag tetextan namin. I don't know, perhaps I'm just mad that my lover is acting weird lately, that he can't even say Hi, nor Hello anymore. we met up one night, and dinala niya ako sa place nya. His name is Steven Reyes, a Quality Analyst from Sutherland. His place is nice, he got his own room, the bed is soft, the curtains are black, not weird for call center vampires, but what got my attention is his collection of scented candles. Super bango nila when he lit 'em.i laid on his bed, and he sat beside me. then suddenly he unlocked his buttons and took off his clothes. i know what will happen next, so i closed my eyes and felt the beautiful moment under the spell of his candles. everything happened between us that night was so perfect. I must to admit, nag enjoy ako. from that time, naging palaging gawain na namin yun. after my shift, pupuntahan ko siya. or siya sakin.napadalas nadin yung paglabas namin, pagkain sa labas.'til such time he admitted that he's already in love with me! Oh fuck! this is not the way i want it to happen. he's supposed to be just my fucking buddy.and I don't have any plan na makipag commit sa kanya, but since naisip ko nga yung nangyayari samin ni Dan pumayag ako na maging boyfriend nya. things went okay, he called me most of the time, he treated me the way I want Dan does.
am i falling for him already?nahhh.. no! no! no!
it's still Dan that my heart is beating for. 'til one day pinuntahan ko si Steven sa place niya,while I was in his bathroom, taking a bath,nawala sa isip kong lagyan ng security code yung phone ko,so when I went out of the shower room, I saw Steven crying. nakita pala niya mga conversations namin ni Dan, pati mga pictures naming magkasama.he asked me if how long ko na siyang ginagago,i felt sad and guilty,so I told him everything,na mas nauna si Dan sa kanya,na si Dan talaga mahal ko, at hindi siya.humagulgol siya sa iyak, gusto ko siyang yakapin at magsorrypero natakot, nahiya, at tumahimik nalang ako at nagbihis. "alis na ako ha?" sabi ko.he just looked at me and went to the bathroom and locked the doori know he's still crying, i can hear him, shit! shit! ang sama sama ko!umalis ako dali dali nang hindi na nagpaalam.
while i'm on my way sa apartment ko,i felt my phone vibrating,so i took it out from my pocket and saw Bhebhe koCalling....
napangiti ako bigla kasi almost a month di nagparamdam ang bhe ko. dali dali kong sinagot ang tawag, "hello bhe?""who's steven?""whaaaaatttt?""steven reyes?""a-a fri-friend, o-officemate""oh yeah?""yeah, musta ka na bhe?" pang liko ng tensyon"cheater""what the hell are you talking about?""well,i just happened to get a message from this steven, and he sent me a photo of you guys hugging and fucking naked"natameme nalang ako sa narinig ko, di ko alam sasabihin,di ko alam gagawin ko. then,"look bhe, you didn't talk to me in a month, you left me hanging, i don't know what to think, what to do, i tried to call you lots of times, but you rejected, I waited for your callback, but you didn't even bother to drop a line, so tell me, who's unfair? and about steven, he's my officemate, we drunk one night and i got so damn wasted, i can't remember what happened and i'm clueless of the things he did to me, and about that fucking picture, i'm not naked, it just so happened that i got no shirt, did you see me kissing him? did you see me sucking and fucking him? hell no! so don't give me that attitude""what a lame excuse!" then he dropped the call.
i was crying when i reached my place, nakita ako ng roommate ko, si Ronnald Tan.
i told him everything, i know he'll understand kasi alam ko na Bi din siya.he asked me, if i will have to choice between the two, sino?i said Dan, kasi alam ko siya naman talaga mahal ko. then the day after, biglang tumawag ulit si Dan. "Bhe, i'm sorry, i was shocked when i first saw the photo. initial reaction""then?""your friend ronald told me everything""about?""na wala talagang nangyari sainyo nung steven, na magkatabi lang kayo natulog noon, na kasama siya sa inuman nyo at proof siya na di ikaw nagtaksil"then I cried... di dahil okay na yung samin ni Dan, kundi alam kong lalong lumala yung pagsisinungaling ko kay Dan. everything went back to its track,naging regular na ulit communication namin ni Dan.he calls me like twice or thrice in a day, and so do I. hanggang isang araw, umuwi ako sa province namin, dumiretso ako sa place ni Dan to surprise him.napangiti ako nung nakita ko ulit ang mga mata nito, mga labing mapupula, mga ngiting parang anghel,i hugged him and said"I miss you so much Dan"niyakap din niya ako.nang nasa room kami, while we were kissing, I saw something on his neck, isang bagay na halos ikaguho ng mundo ko.napatigil ako at natulala."so, who gave it""gave what?"your fucking Kissmark!" pasigaw ko.halos mabato ko lahat ng gamit niya sa room,galit na galit ako sa nakita ko.he didn't say anything, but instead gave me a blank look and poker face."putang ina naman oh Dan, say something!" - paiyak kong sabihe hugged his pillow, and hid his face on it."so all this time, while i am there, working,you were here and fucking somebody else"he cried and said"i was just drunk when it happened""fuck you Dan! putang ina mo!"when i was about to walk out of his room,he grabbed my hand and said,"i'm sorry, it won't happen again"napatigil ako, nag isip, at naalala ko yung mga nagawa ko rin sa kanya. I guess what he did was enough to payback all my mistakes.pinilit kong kumawala sa mahigpit niyang hawak, tumayo ako at kinuha ko ang bag , and one step away from his room, i looked at him and said"it's over Dan. everything changed so fast, and so are you.,papalayain na kita, palayain mo na rin ako, let's both pray for each other na sana mahanap natin yung sarili natin"
"but how can i let you go if everything running through my blood reminds me of you?"
"Dan, nagkamali din ako, yung about kay steven, totoo lahat nang nauna mong isinip, may namagitan samin, nagsinungaling lang sayo si ronald kasi alam niyang mahal na mahal kita, nagkamali din ako Dan, at siguro yung nagawa mo sapat nang kabayaran sa pagkakamali ko at hindi ko narin kayang kumapit pa sa kung ano mang meron tayo kasi lalo lang natin pahihirapan mga sarili natin, masakit, OO, pero kailangan nating maging matatag, isipin mo buhay mo, studies mo, at aayusin ko din buhay ko. i love you daniel, but it's time to let ourselves go." paiyak kong sabi habang naginginig ang tuhod ko na wari'y ayaw umalis."Pat...pleaseeee...." pakiusap ni pat habang patuloy sa pag iyakpero hindi ko ito pinakinggan at tuluyan na nga akong umalis.
eto na naman ako, nag biyabyaheng luhaan, gaya ng dati, pero ngayo'y mas masakit, mas malalim, di ko alam kong makakaya ko pa.
nagpakasubsob ako sa trabaho.. gabi gabi'y naiisip ko parin si Dan.mga ngiti nya, mga paglalambingan namin, lahat, namimiss ko na siya..walang gabing di ako umiyak, mga pagsubsob ko sa unan, pag kumot ko para maitago ang sakit na nadarama.
one week.. one month...
hindi ko alam kung makakaya ko pa..
hanggang sa naging sirkulasyon na ng buhay ko ang makipag meet sa iba't ibang tao, sex dito, sex doon. bawat off ko, iba ibang tao nakasama ko sa kama. minsan pa nga, nagigising nalang ako sa ibang bahay, sa ibang higaan.damn it! i cursed love, i loathed the world,I lamented my life,i became so bad,i slept with different people every day, every night, minsan pa nga di ko na makilala sarili ko,everytime i look at the mirror, i see somebody else, and not the Patrick Ong I used to be. one day, habang off ko.naisipan kong mag net, so dali dali akong pumunta sa katabing computer shop,. then i opened my facebook account, and saw a message from an unknown sender.
"hi puti" from Prince Ocampo,i wondered kung sino 'tong Prince na 'to, so i viewed his profile and saw no mutual friends, hmmmmmmm.... "hello, do i know you?" i repliedat unknowingly, online pala siya,so nagkachat kami, isa pala siyang volunteer sa isang pribadong hospital malapit sa place ko. nagkapalitan kami ng number. at first, i thought isa lang siya sa mga taong makakaharutan ko sa kama, isang taong hanggang one taste lang. pero habang tumatagal kaming nagkakatextan, onte onte nahuhulog ang loob ko sa kanya, ewan ko ba, he's different, mayroon siyang something na No devils can stand with. hmmmmm.... nalaman ko din na kakabreak lang nila ng girlfriend niya, so he's into moving-on stage palang. so what am i? a rebound shit now? pero kailanman di ko naramdamang nasasaktan siya, masarap kasi siyang kausap sa phone, kahit nasa work ako ka text ko parin siya, minsan nga binubulsa ko pa sa brief ko yung phone para lang madala ko sa production floor at makatext ko siya. lagi kaming nagbibiruan sa call.minsan kakanta kami,kulitan, sabihan ng sekreto, lahat, finally, i found a reason to smile again. one time, habang kausap ko siya, at the end of the call, bigla ko nalang nasabing, "pakiss nga" natahimik siya at ako'y napatigil kasi di ko alam bakit lumabas yun sa bunganga ko, sabi lang niya "Cge ba, pag nagkita tayo haha" sabay tawa
so we planned to meet up one time, i was kinda excited to see him personally,
until dumating na nga yung minutong papalapit na siya,naglalakad papunta sakin habang ako'y nakaupo't umiinom ng paborito kong kape sa isa sa mga sikat na establisimento. parang tumigil ang mundo ko nung nasulyapan ko siyang papalapit, tila bang he has this bend time power na he can stop the clock and let the world see him walking.. hmmmmm..... he was smiling habang palapit na palapit... uggghhhh! "hi, puti" sabay tapik sa balikat ko."hey, musta?" sabay tago sa nakangiti kong puso"ayos naman, kanina ka pa dito?""ay hindi, kararating ko lang, kaya nga paubos na tong kape ko" pabiro ko"hahahaha, sorry naman"then i smiled.. ughhhh. "tara nood tayo sine, my treat" ika niya"ay wala atang magandang palabas ngayon" sagot ko"meron, yung in my life, yung kay john llyod at luis manzano""seriously?""oo naman, favorite kasi ng mama ko si Vilma Santos"" hahahaha! okay sige yun nalang" at sa loob ng sinehan, talagang sa lover's seat pa kami umupo. wala siyang ka-idea-idea na hindi ko hilig manuod ng local films, so nakatulugan ko siyang nanunood. suddenly naramdamn kong may humawak sa kamay ko, hinahaplos haplos.i openned my eyes and saw him holding my hands while watching the movie.. hmmmmmmm tinanggal ko kamay ko at tinignan ko siya, "gising ka na pala""oo, sorry ah, kakaout ko lang kasi from work kaya....""ssshhhh no need to explain, masaya ako kasama kita..."i looked at him then he smiled.. hmmmm...."sweet" pabulong ko."ano?" tanong niya"wala, sina john llyod at luis, sweet sila oh" sabay turo sa screen para mawala ang topic."ahhhh...."
then he smiled again.. after the show, he asked me if i'm hungry, alala ko, di pa pala ako kumakaen ng desenteng pagkaen since last night, lage nalang kape, yosi, tsk! i said "Yes, but....""good, let's go eat""hey, hear me out, i said Yes, but let me treat you, lagi nalang ikaw kasi""haha, sige sige. ikaw bahala..""great, let's go then""cute""i heard that" then I smiled. after eating, nag yaya na akong umuwi kasi inaantok na talaga ako. "tara hatid na kita""uy wag na, umuulan oh, malayo pa uwian mo""di okay lang, sige na, period""kulit, sige na nga"
pababa kami ng jeep, shit! lalong lumakas ang ulan, "wait, una na akong baba" sabi nya tapos dali dali niyang nilabas payong niya na itim, at pinayungan ako habang pababa ng jeep.uggghhhh! "malayo pa niyan lalakarin natin, gabi na oh, lakas pa ulan, sure ka?""oo, don't mind me"
and we walked down the road, hand in hand, under his black umbrella,i can feel his warm breath, his skin, damn! I can feel him...
at nang makarating na kami sa tapat ng apartment ko, "Hoy, Patpat! gabi na, ang lakas ng ulan, nakikipagharutan ka pa diyan, pasok na!" pasigaw ni Ronald"oo, andiyan na, MATUA!" sagot ko,"hahahaha, marunong ka pala magkapampangan ne?" tanong ni prince"hindi, konte lang. tara sa loob, pakilala kita sa kaibigan ko, yung kinuwento ko sayo dati""ahhh si ronald?""oo, tara""ay saka nalang siguro, hiya ako, saka gabi narin""toink, sige wait lang ah? wag ka muna umalis, may kukunin lang ako." dali dali akong tumakbo sa loob at hiniram ang payong ni ronald,pagbalik ko "oh tara, hatid kita hanggang sa sakayan""haha baliw, hinatid nga kita tas ngayon ako naman hahatid mo,wag na""basta tara na, pero mamaya ko na gamitin payong na 'to, pag pauwi na ulit ako, hehe gusto ko share tayo sa payong mo" "sige ba, gusto ko yan" sagot nya at naglakad na kami papuntang sakayan, this time, nakaakbay siya sakin,ramdam ko ang malamig niyang palad, gusto ko siya yakapin pero baka may makakita. at naglakad na naman kami papuntang sakayan. while waiting for the jeepney, "uy salamat kanina ha? nag enjoy ako" sabi ko"ako din, sobra, sana maulit" sagot niya"oo naman,text mo lang ako" then right before siyang sumakay,he came closer and kissed my cheek. GEEEZZZZZZ! WTF! nagblushed ako! i don't know how to react, i stopped and looked around. The World must have stopped from circling for a second! Shit! i walked back home na nakangiti, kinikilig na parang tanga. his kiss! his soft lips! damn it! aaaahhhhhh!!! i sent him a message: ":) thanks ulit" sabi ko"'til next time" sagot nya
sa apartment,"at san naman nakarating ang haliparot?" tanong ni ronald"i went out to see my prince" sagot ko habang nakangiti"tse! arte mo! gumamit naman ba kayo ng condom?""gago! it was just a date! a serious one!" habang kinikilig"himala, di yan uso sayo ah""well, everything's changing""arte! matulog ka na nga para mapapasok ko na rin dito yung kasex ko""haha! baliw! ang libog mo gago!""kailangan magpanic buying! at my age, dapat matikman na lahat ng putahe haha"sabay halakhalak namin "goodnight prince :)""goodnight pat.. ayan ah, nabigay ko na yung kiss na utang ko sayo""ehe, may interest kaya yung utang mo""haha adik, sige, next time bigay ko na in full payment""sira! installment nalang muna""haha sige sige, goodnight ulit. iffy""IFFY?" reply ko"wala, night :D""okay, night" then after nun, we became much closer. lagi na kaming nanunuod ng movie, kumakain sa labas, magkausap sa phone, haist. i think im falling for him na.www-wait! I'm Falling for him??????bigla ko naalala yung text niyang, iffy."i'M FALLING FOR YOU??????!!!!????"hahahaha oo, tama! shit! totoo kaya? fuck! sana! sana!
then one night, while we were eating sa KFC. "so, what's IFFY?" usisa ko"aa-aahhh wala" then he smiledi looked at him, tinitigan ko siya ng seryoso"what?" tanong niya habang alam kong kinakabahan siya, kita ko kasi mga labi niya, nanginginig"when will you have the courage to say it?""say what?" he said"say that you are falling for me"natahimik siya, yumuko. uminom ng coke."will it matter?" tanong niya
"a lot""why is that?""'coz i think i'm falling for you too""you think?""i don't know, i'm confused""see?""i really don't know Prince, all I know is,I'm different when i'm with you,and I like it..."
"the things you know is different from what you feel, so don't say you're falling if you really don't mean it"
napatigil ako, and tears are about to fall.."Prince, when I said i'm falling for you, it's my heart that is talking. I started to smile again, to laugh, to apprecite things around me, I've never been this happy again in my life. You have taught me a lot Prince, and I don't wanna lose that chance to be happier"he smiled.."my life has never been this beautiful since you came Pat, I Love you."tears fall down, my voice shaken, I smiled
"I love you too, Prince."
and that started our story as lovers. everything was fine and sweet. mas lalong naging intense relationship namin. napatunayan ko pagmamahal niya when I lost my first job, almost a month din ako nabakante, jobless, tapos wala akong mapagkuhanan ng pang allowance, but he never failed to support me, he was there when I was at my lowest point of my life, he stood up with me, di niya ako iniwan when I was lying down and crying,he faced all the torns and shielded me from pain, he shouldered everything, may time pa ngang nagbenta siya ng mga gamit niya para lang may maibigay siya, kasi volunteer palang siya noon, kaya wala parin siyang sahod at umaasa din sa family niya.
luckily, nakahanap din ulit ako ng work after a month, and of course, walang choice kundi sa call center parin. akala ko magiging okay na ang lahat, pero di pa pala, nahirapan kasi ako sa bagong account, so i decided to leave the company,again, he didn't question me, instead, he showed me his love..
so,after a few weeks of tambay at nagkukulong sa apartment, na-hire ako ulit sa isang company, at wag na kayong magtaka kasi call center na naman, hehe
things shaped back to its normal state. naging okay na naman lahat, at si Prince, naging regular nurse narin,so nawalan kami ng problema sa pera,nakakapagdate na ulit kami, nakakaen sa labas.
akala ko okay na ang lahat, pero dumating kami sa point na nasasakal na namin yung isa't isa. na para bang lahat nalang bawal, bawal lumabas kasama mga kaibigan, dapat uwi agad after work, bawal mag net, bawal makipag textmates,di na kami makagalaw!
one time, while he's asking for permission, kasi may team building daw sila, at kailangan nilang mag sleep over sa house nila,
I said "NO, i don't like it, gawan mo nang paraan para di yan matuloy""please, saka behave naman ako eh mahal""NOoooooo!!!!""but why?""i just don't like it""alam mo, mahal kita eh. mahal na mahal, lahat naman ginagawa ko para sa'yo, pero sobra na, pati ba paghinga bawal narin?" tanong nya na pasigawnatahimik nalang ako, umupo, at sumimangot na para bang katapusan na ng mundo."hindi lang tayo ang tao sa mundo pat" pasunod niyang sabiShit naman oh! ako ba nagreklamo? ako ba pumaliwag sa taling nakasakal sa leeg ko? hindi! hindi! hindi!kaya sumigaw nalang din ako "AAAhhhhh! bakit mo iintindihin ang ibang tao kung love story naman natin 'to?"shit! napatigil na naman ako at inisip kung tama ba yung sinabi ko.he went out of my place.He didn't text me for a couple of days. And so do I.
Putang ina! mauulit na naman ba! mawawala na naman ba siya sakin!
I cried! I didn't come to work for 2 days. My officemates were asking kung ano na nangyari sakin kasi di man lang daw ako nagpapaalam! Tapos umuwi pa si ronald sa kanila kaya wala ako makausap! Shit!!!!!wala akong ginawa kundi umiyak ng umiyak! nagkulong ako sa aparment!nakasubsob sa unan!
"what will I do?" yan lagi kong sinisigaw.. na tanging mga butiki sa kisame lang nakakarinig.
then pumasok ako sa work, late ako, 11:00 pm yung work ko, pero pumasok ako ng 01:35am, shit! namumugto mga eyebags ko! puro nalang "what happened? are you okay?" mga naririnig ko sa mga katrabaho ko. kung alam lang nila kung gaano kabigat dinadala ko!fuck!
last break, around 6:30 in the morning, i tried to call him, nag ring lang yung phone niya twice tapos out of coverge na. pinatay ata niya.
after work, when I was on my way home, bigla siyang nagtext, "let's meet"
so nagkita kami,kinamusta ko siya, naawa din ako sa itsura niya, para kaming mga drug adik sa kanto na namumula mga mata at nagsisilakihang eyebags.
habang nasa jeep kami,"tara nood tayo sine, kaen tayo sa labas" sabi niya,akala ko okay na, kaya ngumiti nalang ako, pero nung nakasakay kami ng jeep, bigla niyang sinabing
"enjoy natin last day natin"
di ko alam kung tama ba narinig ko, tinignan ko siya, umiiyak, pilit na pinipigilan paghagulgol. wala ako nasabi, napaiyak nalang ako sa sobrang sakit ng narinig ko. parang kutsilyong pumasok sa aking tenga at onte onteng tinutusok puso ko. ang sakit!!!!! di ko nakayanan, bumaba ako agad ng jeep, tamang tama, red light sa traffic light kaya tumigil yung jeep, nakatayo lang ako sa gilid ng kalsada, habang tinitignan siyang nakasakay sa jeep, iyak ako ng iyak, na halos gusto kong lumuhod nalang at magmakaawang bumababa rin siya.
bumaba siya at nilakad namin papuntang apartment ko.
nagmakaawa ako, lumuhod, nagsorry na di na mauulit, na bigyan niya pa ako ng pangalawang pagkakataon..
"mahal, sorry na... please..." sabay hawak sa kamay niya, hinahalikan ko 'to. nagmamakawa."ayoko na, pagod na pagod na ako.""s-sorrrrryyy mahal... sorry"niyakap ko siya pero pilit niyang tinatanggal mga kamay ko."di na ako makahinga pat, di na""mahal, wag ganyan please... mababaliw ako... di ko alam gagawin ko.. oo alam ko, mali ako, masyado akong immature, mahigpit, insensitive, pero please magbabago ako, please maaahhaaaall"humiga siya sa kama, tumalikod sakin habang humahagulgol.di ko alam anong gagawin ko, di ko alam kung paaano ko ulit siya mapipilit na huwag akong iwan, but he's really decided to end this."please....." sabay luhod sa tabi ng kama,di siya kumikibo.."di ko alam gagawin ko pag nawala ka sakin..."he turned his head and said,"lika, higa ka dito"
tumabi ako at dali dali ko siyang niyakap ng mahigpit.mga ilang minutong walang nagsasalita, di ko narin alam mga tumatakbo sa isipan niya.
"sorry din mahal, di ko sinasadyang mapuno" pamasag niya ng katahimikan. sabay katos sa ulo ko"aray! di na mauulit" sagot ko, sabay kiss sa kanyang lips."talaga, kasi iiwan talaga kita sa gitna ng kalsada""sama!"then he hugged me...
Pat, I love you. at hindi na yun magbabago pa kahit kailan. hinding hindi ako gagawa ng kahit anong makakasira satin. Hinding hindi rin kita pagpapalit. You're more than perfect. and I couldn't ask for more. Just Trust me, okay?
I trust you Pat, I really do. Naging sanay lang akong tayong dalawa lang sa lahat ng bagay. Sorry If I became such a nagger, I didn't mean to hurt you in any ways. I love you too my Prince. You're the best thing that ever happened tome.
ngayon,mag to-two years na kami. everything's changed from that day,mas naging open na kami, hindi na masyadong mahigpit, di na bawal lahat.tamang timpla. at tamang daloy ng hangin mula sa aming mga puso.
I wouldn't be this so damn happy if not because of you my Prince.
The World might not smile at us, nor embrace us,
but I will always be here for you, and will always be your umbrella to protect you from the rain.
I love you.. and it's true.
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